How Can It Be So
by Sable-Reiver
Summary: AU Drabble Collection, Multiple Pairings AkuRoku, SoRiku, Zemyx ; Ailments and Illnesses. Diseases and Disorders. And yet, these do nothing to break the bonds they've forged. But life can be cruel. Sometimes it takes the ones we love. And it doesn't ever give them back. Warning: May contain coarse language.
1. SoRiku: Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a lifelong disease.

Some people affected can function almost normally, with the help of medication and family support. Some remain institutionalized, living forever within a ward; safe, on meds, but never allowed to leave because of how the disorder affects them. Some have to be kept isolated, because of how violent they can be.

My Sora is schizophrenic. But he's different.

He doesn't take his medication, at all. He refuses; doesn't like how it makes him feel, how he gains weight, how his muscles become increasingly rigid the more he uses it. As soon as he was released from the ward, he stopped taking them. And the voices, the delusions…they came back.

His parents wouldn't take him, so I did.

I gave him a place to live, a place to call home. Somewhere he would be looked after and cared for. Somewhere he would feel safe when the inevitable hitch in his world happened.

Mostly, his delusions kept him content, if somewhat despondent. He would wander around the apartment, whispering things to himself. Sometimes, I would catch names; Donald, Goofy, 'King' Mickey. Names from cartoons we used to watch every day when we were younger. Sometimes, I would hear Kairi's name. Sometimes, I would hear my own.

Then the storm came, and I had no idea what to do.

I woke up to the sound of thunder; lightning splitting the sky, drowning out the rain. But it couldn't cover the desperate cries of Sora, calling my name over and over. I ran to him, following the broken pleas that were asking me not to go, not to give in to the darkness, not to leave him stranded and alone in a world unknown.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Where was this coming from? Was it because I had been one of the ones who had tried to get him help? Was it because I had put him into the hospital, gotten him on that medication? I'd never left, but maybe I had abandoned him anyways. Abandoned his trust. I was wracked with confusion and guilt, even as I pulled to a stopped in his doorway.

Sora was curled into a tight ball, shivering like he would never stop. I couldn't see his face, but I knew his cheeks would be traced with tears. He had always cried so easily. When we were young, I used to tease him for it, but I was far from laughing now.

I stood frozen for such a long time, until the sky was lit again, and the roll of thunder dragged a whimper from the form on the bed. My body moved on its own, and suddenly, I was next to him, pulling him into a hug, whispering things I wasn't quite sure made sense. But they helped anyways. Sora calmed down, clung to me like a lifeline and slowly ceased his tears. But I didn't let go, didn't move. I didn't want to. I didn't want to ever leave this boy alone again.

He kissed me then, and I swore I never would.

-_Sable_


	2. Chapter 2

Sora's dad disappeared when he was five. Or at least, disappeared was as close to the truth as his young mind could get, after such an abrupt abandonment. But more than him, it hit his mother. She'd been in love with the man from, what she had told her child, practically since the moment she had seen him.

The night the shadowed memory of a father had left, Sora had been in his room, playing with his toys. He remembered hearing the front door slam, and the sudden, crushing silence of his home. Not the usual, comfortable quiet, when things are peaceful. No…this silence was suffocating. It scared him.

He ran to his mother's room, and found her kneeling on the floor, like she had simply collapsed where she had been standing. Like her legs had given out, unable to hold her any more. And her eyes. They scared Sora worse than the silence. Always so warm and inviting, sparkling with happiness. But no longer. Now they were flat and dead. No spark of warmth, nothing remotely familiar to help reassure the young boy that this was, indeed, still his mom.

He'd gone up to her, eyes wide in fear and uncertainty. He remembered not seeing his father anywhere in the room.

"Mamma? Where's Daddy?"

There had been a pregnant pause, like she hadn't heard him, hadn't comprehended what he'd said. After a moment, her mouth started to work, but no sound came out. She gaped like a fish for a moment, and even at such a young age, Sora knew something had been broken.

When the reply finally came, it was in a shattered whisper, already choked with tears.

"I…I don't know. I blinked…and he was gone."

Spoken as they were, the deep scar they left on Sora changed him. Seeing his mother like that, so devastated, terrified him. He began to wonder if his most precious things would disappear, if _she_ would vanish, if he blinked. So he tried his hardest not to. Walked around for days with his eyes strained open, burning, tears flooding his vision. But he wouldn't blink.

He got good at it, was able to go for several minutes without blinking by the time he was old enough to realize that it was a childish fear. No other event had ever happened to cement such a belief, and slowly it began to erode. But something that had shaken his once-stable home life so irrevocably could not be gotten rid of, or forgotten, so easily. That fear existed, buried deep but still volatile, ready to shatter Sora's world at the slightest provocation.

The bait for that particular monster arrived one day in the form of a certain silver-haired man, seated in a booth at the small food joint Sora now worked at.

He'd noticed the man enter, even remembered what he'd ordered. His smile was small, his voice was quiet, and his eyes drowned Sora in a single glance. However, they hadn't exchanged words past when the man had shuffled slowly to his seat, and the brunette thought that had been it.

But it was closing time now, and he still hadn't left. The only people still there were employees closing up, and this stranger who had yet to move.

Olette was too shy to go talk to him, and Selphie was leaving already with Wakka, so that left Sora for the job (not like he was really complaining). And so, after ditching his required work attire in the backroom and ensuring that the man still hadn't left, the brunette moved over to him and stood next to the man, who looked like he was just staring off into space, hands in his lap.

Or, it would've looked like that, if the look on the strangers face hadn't made Sora's heart leap into his throat even as his pulse quickened. There was something too familiar about it…but he squashed the rising feeling of dread before it took him. The guy was probably just having a bad day.

"Um…excuse me, sir? We're closing now…you have to leave."

It took a moment, only a of couple seconds, before the man turned to look up at Sora, smiling softly again.

"Sorry, I kind of spaced out. Would you mind helping me up?" It was a weird request, asked quietly, but Sora just shrugged and nodded, offering the other a hand. Grip secure, he braced his body and pulled. The man grunted, winced, and then he was up, smile a bit wider. "Thanks."

"No problem. Sore muscles?" He didn't mean to pry, but it slipped out.

The man's smile strained for an instant, before it became easy again. "Yeah. I've been working out the past couple days, so it's gonna be a while before I can move on my own again."

The words seemed off. They sounded…they sounded like how his mother did whenever they spoke, which wasn't often. He'd tried, but the woman was barely willing to put in effort to help herself. Sora had moved out as soon as he was able, and placed her in a home.

They moved towards the door together, the guy waiting for Sora as he locked up. Why, the brunette wasn't sure, but it had him fumbling with the key for a moment longer than he should have.

* * *

"I'm Riku."

Sora glanced up at his companion from where his eyes had been trailing along the road. They'd been walking together for a while, lord knew why, but maybe they had to go in the same direction. Secretly, he'd been happy. Riku was interesting; they hadn't talked much, but his appearance, the way he held himself, the way he moved….it was so different from the people he was used to interacting with.

"Sora."

He got a nod and a smile for that, and he was happy.

* * *

After that initial introduction, the pair hung out a few more times. Riku always came to Sora's work, and they would walk back together when his shift ended. If he had a day off, they would meet there and go somewhere else.

To Sora, Riku was unlike anyone he had ever met. Once his timidness was pushed past, he became a very snarky, out-spoken person. He had a nasty habit of teasing the brunette as much as he could, and didn't hesitate to make comments about things others probably wouldn't bring up. He seemed to actually fit into his own skin, and was proud of it; one of those people who was totally comfortable being themselves. Sora envied him.

One thing that struck him as odd was that Riku would always get at least two phone calls while they were hanging out, and they were always the same thing; Riku insisting he was fine three times over, saying that no, he didn't need anything and that he would be back at the usual time. Sora thought it was a spouse or a girlfriend, and it hurt, up until he tentatively asked about it and got laughed at.

"I'm gay and unattached Sora. The people calling me are paranoid relatives that come to stay at my house from time to time."

That was more than enough of a hint, and they were dating within the week.

It was a month later, and Sora was pondering on their relationship. They talked a lot, had gotten to know each other…but some things about Riku were still a mystery. He would disappear sometimes without warning, and wouldn't tell Sora where he'd gone to. It worried him, and he felt that old, buried fear stirring. Olette had commented at work the other day how he seemed to be blinking less, that it was unnerving her.

It was while he was on this train of thought that his phone rang. Seeing that it was Riku, he picked up immediately, but his bright hello wasn't returned in kind. There was a long pause, and he could already tell something was wrong. His eyes stung.

"Sora….could you come over? I…" Another pause, and then a long sigh. "I just…I need to tell you…something..."

The words were mumbled, but they got through. Sora was up and out the front door as fast as his legs could carry him.

* * *

Riku had ALS. Lou Gehrig's disease; something that ate away at the motor neurons in his brain so that it was harder and harder for him to move with each passing day. It would go until the muscles controlling his breathing stopped working, and then he'd die.

When he was told this by the silver-haired man himself, lying in his bed, unable to move his legs, Sora could do little more than stare. Gape. Try to deny what he'd just been told, try to will it to be different. He'd heard about it before, but only in passing. Had never known anyone with it. Not till now.

"B…but…"

"You're wondering how someone as young as me could get it."

Sora swallowed thickly. He didn't even want to talk about it. But Riku was right; what little he knew was that ALS occurred mostly in older people, and those with it only lasted about five years before that fatal day came. Riku was barely 21.

"I don't know. It just kind of…happened." He suddenly looked very tired. They sat in silence for a long time, Sora horrified, Riku patient. The brunette opened his mouth again eventually, to ask an actual question, but Riku beat him to it. "I was diagnosed four years ago."

That one hit Sora in the gut. Four years…The brunette felt his eyes widen, the burning already there and getting worse. But he ignored it. He had to.

"Every day that I can move is a miracle, or so I've been told by the doctors… I'm already past my due date."

That was it. The last hit to his already-cracked defenses. The tears came fast, urged on by his unblinking eyes and the knowledge that he would _lose_ _Riku_. To some disgusting, hideous thing, destroying him from the inside. To something that nothing could be done about. To that same dark unknown his father had vanished into…the same one that had claimed his mother that very night, so long ago.

Even as the tears streamed down his face, he didn't blink.

Riku just looked at him and scoffed lightly. "Oh come on Sora, don't do that." The words were too airy to be convincing. "I made it this far because I refuse to just lay down and let this thing take me." The pale man reached and took an unresisting hand into his own. "And you've given me one more thing to fight for."

Sora tried. He choked on his tears. His chest contracted, his throat convulsed. But it was too much. The tears wouldn't stop, and an aching sob ripped itself jaggedly from him. And his eyes were closed. Because somehow, the stupid jerk that was Riku had managed to reassure him that this _creature_ inside him wouldn't win, that things would turn out alright. So, tears and snot streaming down his face, and feeling like he was about to shatter, Sora chose to believe. He chose to close his eyes, and trust that when he opened them again, Riku would still be there.

-_Sable_


End file.
